Sometimes things are worth repeating, and sharing an experience I had at a conference last September is one of them. I had the honor and privilege to speak in a military town, Clarksville, TN for LifePoint Church. Because I knew I would be speaking to families who serve our great country, I asked my sister-in-law Deanna to write an expression of her heart as a Military Mom. At first she balked, saying she didn’t think she could express herself well enough. Two months went by and on the morning of the event, while sipping my morning coffee, a very unexpected email showed up in my inbox. I sat there at Starbucks with tears rolling down my cheeks, never more proud to be Deanna (Floyd) Stadley’s big sister than I was that morning. God clearly spoke and told me that I was not to take from her letter and make a message to the Military Families, but that I was to let her letter alone be the message….and let me tell you, it was! I have received countless requests for a copy of her letter, because whether you are a mom or dad, wife or husband, daughter or son, or like Donnie and I, an uncle and aunt, Deanna has perfectly worded the expression of all our hearts. Read on and be blessed and please feel free to share the blessing!
By Deanna (Floyd) Stadley
People ask all the time “How do you feel about Jake being in the Army or deployed?”
I just smile and say how proud I am of him but inside I’m thinking “I don’t feel anything, and I feel everything!”
I feel so much pride I could burst.
I feel so much fear I could scream.
I feel so happy he has found his place that I just smile.
I feel so much sadness at losing him too young to a job where he can’t be silly and carefree.
I feel honored he chose this path to be one of the 1% that has served our Great Nation.
I feel heartbroken that I can’t have him for every holiday and life event that happens without him.
I feel excited when he tells me the interesting things he gets to do.
I feel frustrated when I can’t know where he is.
I feel relieved when I hear his voice.
I feel alone with my thoughts of just wanting him little again.
I feel grateful for all the love and encouragement from family, friends and even strangers.
I feel tearful when I just want to hug him and kiss his chin.
I feel joyful when he gets to come home.
Sometimes I feel nothing because you don’t know what to feel.
And strangely, I feel the heart of God and Mary, and what agony they went through giving their Son to a people that don’t care at all – but yet feeling, if not him, who?
So what do I feel as a Mom of an American Soldier? I feel everything!